


Impossibly

by thealeksdemon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Langst, M/M, Self Sacrifice, Swearing, all ship stuff is there if u squint, i guess, klance, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealeksdemon/pseuds/thealeksdemon
Summary: The Galra have a new gun. And he supposes it's his fault, really, that it gets fired in the first place. But who it hits—well, the universe isn't going to lose its Golden Boy, not if Lance can help it. Not if all he needs is two steps to get Keith out of the way. And it doesn't matter what happens to Lance. Not to him. There are more important things to worry about.





	

Lance is pretty sure he hit his head somewhere, since there’s something red dripping from his brow, making him shut one eye. It’s definitely not sweat. Wherever the wound is, the pain is minuscule in comparison to the aches in the rest of his limbs. His muscles are sore from almost an hour of fighting in desert heat, dodging wild gunfire and close-combat brawls just to find another paladin. Any paladin. Squinting, almost blinded by the planet’s three suns, he ducks and rolls behind a boulder, dodging shots fired over his head. Inching around carefully, he spots Keith catching his breath. Lance almost let’s out a whoop of relief at seeing him, even in this Hellhole. 

Keith’s sword is sitting on his lap as he nods at Lance in acknowledgment, the metal streaked with dark liquid. His armour’s just as scratched up as Lance’s, but there’s nothing fatal. Good.

“Didn’t know Golden Boy needed breaks,” Lance teases half-heartedly, tempted almost to remove his helmet and wipe the sticky blood from his temple. There’s something pounding behind his eye, and for a moment he feels dizzy.

Keith rolls his eyes, “No surprise that you do.”

Lance feigns offense, although it stings a little. “What’re you talking about? I’m trying not to die.”

“Well, same here.”

Laughing by himself, Lance scans his surroundings. Absolute warfare. You’d think fighting the Galran Empire for a living would mean you’d never underestimate them, but sometimes Team Voltron does. Even with their back-up from the planet locals, this fight is definitely going to be messy.

“What do you think?” Lance nudges Keith, who’s already preparing to go back into the fray, “How ‘bout after this we see Hunk about getting some pseudo-ice cream? This many suns when there isn’t even a beach is really not worth my while.”

Keith returns a small smile, laughing a little. “Sounds like a good idea.”

And Lance smiles wider. “Come on,” he gestures over his shoulder, scooting along the ground with his gun raised level. Keith follows quietly at his back, sword at the ready. When they reach the edge of the boulder, Lance says, “I’ll cover you,” and Keith jumps out, attacking the closest Galra soldier with like he's done countless times before. Lance gets up on one knee and fires at threats coming for Keith’s back, eye trained on dark purple armour against tan desert sand. The recoil is merely a heartbeat against his shoulder.

 _Pang!_ Lance’s headache throbs and his vision sways, missing his next shot. The laser goes wide, singeing dusty rock. Steadying, Lance almost doesn’t see the Galran droid he missed raise a heavy-duty gun, training it on Keith. It’s impossibly large, encompassing the droid’s entire arm, and glowing dangerously with what’s clearly quintessence.

Lance swallows. _I’ve never seen one of those before_.

Looking at Keith, Lance makes a decision. There’s no way he can fire his gun accurately, not with the way he’s staggering right now. And Keith—they can’t lose him, or have him wounded. He’s too valuable. To Voltron, and the team.

Keith can’t get hurt. He can't die. Not here.

 “Shit,” Lance immediately curses, dropping his bayard and lunging forward on his feet, arms outstretched. He almost trips, but he pushes forward, focus steady on the red of Keith's armour. There’s a whine as the Galran gun powers up, a piercing shriek vibrating through the air. The sound sends something cold down Lance’s spine as he takes the two steps he needs in the Red Paladin’s direction, hands smacking into him, pushing him out of the way of the targeting beam just in time.

“Hey, watch it—“ Keith starts, landing hard on his butt, eyes narrowed at Lance. The Blue Paladin almost laughs at the sight.

_Boom!_

Something impacts his side, and suddenly he’s lifted off his feet, flying with the momentum of the blast. His spine cracks as he slams into a rocky wall, pain firing up his back and down to his toes as he slumps to the ground, vision momentarily black.

 _Crap_ , he thinks as his headache worsens, doubling in strength as he lies on his side. Vision swimming, he can barely watch the spot of red that moves closer to him, a mirage against the heavy suns.

“Lance!” He winces at the sharp sound of the voice against the blur of the gunfire around him. “Oh my God, Lance, what the heck did you do!”

He squints upward, vision settling on Keith. Other than looking very panicked, he looks fine. He didn’t get hit by that blast.

“Hey,” Lance smiles, shooting up a finger gun while finally starting to feel the pain in his gut. “You’re alright.”

Keith looks incredulous, which is quite a look on him. “So what if I am? You’re not!” Voice shaky, hands frantic as he tucks his arms underneath Lance, he quickly drags him away from the fray. He grunts as he pulls Lance through dust clouds, “Come on, work with me, Lance.”

Lance shuts his eyes tight, headache pounding. Hissing, the pain beneath his ribs pulses, and he wonders how bad the damage is to his armour. How hard would it be to fix it? He can picture it now, Allura angry over his carelessness. “Sorry man. I—I can’t feel my legs.”

Keith’s speaking into his comms unit, almost yelling with urgency. “Allura, I need help. Can you get a healing pod working? It’s Lance. I—I don’t know what happened. It was a different gun, I don’t know—I’ve never seen it before.”

“Keith,” Lance chokes out, tasting copper in his mouth. _That can’t be good._ “Just find me somewhere shady and leave me. Come back for me after.” He waves his hand dismissively, ignoring how it makes his body burn. He just needs to lie very still, maybe that’ll make it go away. “You don’t need me to finish them off anyway.”

When he says that, Keith freezes. “What do you mean?” Now he _sounds_ incredulous. “What are you talking about? Of course I need you—who’s gonna cover me, right?” He laughs nervously, purposely trying to rile Lance, who doesn't do anything but cough. Keith has them behind a different boulder now, with Lance basically in his lap. _I hope we’re not found like this_. _How embarrassing._

Lance can’t even focus on Keith’s face. Everything hurts too much. It’s hard to talk. Wincing, he forces out, “You know what I mean.” Then he hears it. More voices, through a fog of static.

“ _Lance, are you okay?”_

“ _Hold on, Lance! We’re coming, don’t—“_

“— _Don’t you dare die on—“_

Groaning, Lance reaches up and pries his helmet off his head, neck and arm stinging the whole time. It’s difficult, too, and Keith tries to help, but Lance swats him away anyway. _I can do this without help at least._ When he finally gets it off, he sees the dent on the back. _That’s why the headache’s worse._ Tossing it, he watches it skitter across sandy stone, sharp voices fading with it. The weight in his chest lifts a little.

He doesn’t need to hear everyone worrying about him. They all know he’s screwed something up, and he doesn’t want to hear them yelling at him. Wasting their time for him. Not now anyway—all these loud noises are making his head explode. He doesn’t have the energy to pretend he’s not a failure, and he doesn’t need them reminding him that they have to have his back all the time. 

When he thinks about it, they never really call him an outright failure. Not once. He chuckles; it doesn’t really matter. It’s the way they say things. It’s the way they look at him. And nothing’s really going to stop him from knowing it. He can't even blame them.

Turning his head, ignoring how it sends lightning firing down his spine, he spits. Dark red splatters across the pale sand barely two feet away. The sight somehow amuses him.

“Lance, this isn’t funny!” He can’t even recognize this strained voice anymore. It sounds too out of character. Looking up, skeptical, he considers the distress on Keith’s face. The Red Paladin’s dark eyes are wet. “Why’d you jump in front of that shot?”

Lance blinks up at him. It’s really hard keeping his eyes open. For a moment he just breathes, trying to fill his lungs. Then, “I needed to get you out of the way. And he wouldn’t have been able to fire if I hadn’t missed him in the first place.”

“And? You can’t blame yourself for missing a shot, I miss all the—”

“But it _was_ my fault!” Lance hisses, narrowing his eyes. Breath ragged, grainy, he says, “It was _my_ fault. And Voltron _needs_ you, Keith. It can’t lose you now.”

“Wha—it needs you, too, Lance.” Keith just about snaps at him. “Why would you do something so reckless?” He sounds really angry at him, which isn’t new.

So Lance shuts his eyes. He can’t do anything right, even save this guy’s life. Keith’s even pitying him enough to lie. _I’m really pathetic._ “You don’t get it.” Pain rumbles through his body as he forces the words out. Who knew pain could be so loud.

“Shiro?” Keith responds the static in his helmet, throat going hoarse. “Hurry! I don’t know what to do. I don’t know—”

Lance’s head lolls. _God, it’s so hot_. With the sand beneath him he can almost picture it—Varadero beach. A blue ocean, clear as glass, tickling his toes. Soaking him up to his waist, just like now. He swallows. How can his throat be so dry when all he can taste is blood?

“Keith, just go.” Lance croaks, eyes falling shut. It’s just so bright. “You don’t need me. You’ll find a new Blue Paladin, I’m sure of it. Someone better. Someone useful.” _And I’m weak anyway_. _Useless. It isn’t exactly a secret._

“What the _Hell_ do you mean?” Keith slaps him on his cheek, frantic, “Keep your eyes open, Lance. Stay with me. Please, just stay with me.”

Lance laughs a little, looking up at him. “You’ll find someone to replace me. It won’t be _that_ hard.”

Keith looks furious, even with the tears on his face.

“Are you _crying?”_

“Lance, you know you matter to the team right?”

Lance just stares, body wracked with pain. He can barely move, but he still lifts one arm. Tapping Keith on the nose, he says, “That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”

Keith’s face contorts into one of pain so suddenly it catches Lance off guard. Panicked, he glances quickly over him. No wounds. He looks perfectly fine. Where’s he hurt?

“What’s wrong?” He asks, voice barely a whisper. God he’s so tired. He just needs a good nap. Since when did the firefight die down? He can’t hear it anymore, is it almost over?

“Lance, do you honestly think you don’t matter to the team?” Keith’s voice is barely a breath.

Lance’s chest hurts. He really doesn’t have to be fed these lies right before he’s about to die. He’s _pretty_ sure he’s about to die. It doesn’t bother him that much, knowing that. It’s probably because he made the right choice. Keith’s fine, not mortally wounded or dead. He can still fight for the cause, the universe, both impossibly big responsibilities Lance knows he isn’t enough for. All this time he’s just been temporary. Someone more competent will come along, he’s sure of it. Although, he wishes he could meet them.

But right now he’s just so tired. And maybe sleep—which he’s pretty sure he deserves at this point for making the right choice for once—can make this pain go away. Groaning, he finally glances down at himself, spotting the red pooling around his body. _That’s way too much._ The clear hole in his side, singed with burns, seems to stare right back up at him. Seeing it brings a whole new wash of pain through his system, and he tears his gaze away.

_Yeah. I’m going to die._

Still, seeing Keith perfectly safe makes him understand it’s worth it.

 _I guess I did save the universe_.

“You’re alive,” Lance says, looking Keith in the eye. “That’s what matters.” He tries to adjust himself—he’s _really_ uncomfortable. Keith’s bony knee is jabbing into his side—but thinks better of it when he chokes on a scream. _Never mind_. “Hey, if you see my family, can you tell them I did good? That I loved them? I’m not sure if they know.”

“Stop talking like you’re dying, Lance.”

He laughs. “I loved you guys, too. Never got to say it, though. Never thought I had to, but now I think I do. Just to make sure.”

“Lance,” Keith sounds like he’s in pain, but now Lance knows he isn’t hurt. He doesn’t have to check. “We love you, too. How can you not know that?”

_No. I do._

“You’ll get over it,” he assures softly. "Make sure Allura and Coran get a look at that gun. Really packs a punch." He’s running out of breath now. And he’s so tired. _Just so tired._

When his eyes flutter shut again—this time kind of out of spite and because they’re growing too heavy to keep open anymore—Keith shakes him, sending pain rattling through his bones.

“Hey,” Keith’s voice is breaking. “Hey, remember you said we’d get ice cream after this? Remember that? You’re not gonna go back on that are you?” He slaps Lance on the cheek, harder now. “Promise me, Lance. I’m not kidding here, this place is scorched. Come on, stay awake!”

Lance’s eyes flutter open for a second when he feels something drop on his cheeks. Like rain. _Oh_.

He wants to tell Keith that he’s sorry. For everything. For messing up so often and treating him like a rival even though it was one-sided the whole time. For being annoying. For making the team tolerate it.

For simply not being enough.

He also wants to tell him to make sure Pidge gets sleep at night, or to make sure she doesn't fall asleep working again. That Hunk has a heart of gold, but sometimes he needs to put himself first. That Shiro shouldn't overwork himself, shouldn't dwell on things that are far beyond their reach. They'll get to see every star one day. And that Allura should take a break now and then, enjoy herself with the other paladins. Get to know them as more than just the kids who fit the bill, but as humans. And that Coran is perfect as he is, and never has to change.

And Keith. By God, Keith. If Lance wasn't so jealous all the time, could they have been friends? Back in the Garrison even? Could there have been a chance that Keith would've recognized him when they met again at Shiro's landing? Probably not. Keith, with his incredible awareness, can sometimes be pretty blind. But that's okay. Keith doesn't have to change either—he's always done cool things. And he doesn't brag about it, ever. He's the universe's Golden Boy.

 _God, do I admire you_.

Lance feels his lips move but he doesn’t have enough energy to talk. He doesn’t really have much to say anymore either. _I guess I’ll keep my eyes open, just so he can shut up_. But his breaths are stuttering now as he watches Keith yell at him. He can’t really hear him anymore, and he can’t really feel anything below his chest. Not even the pain. He has no idea where that’s gone.

And the sky, he realizes, just past Keith’s head, is blue. Bluer than anything he’s ever seen. And it’s so beautiful.

So he smiles, meaning it for the first time in a while.

 _I’m home_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The langst tag is going to ruin me, but I love it. I just had to write some Lance self-sacrifice because it's one of my favourites—I've read quite a few now. It's honestly going to kill me.


End file.
